The Worst Hunger Games Fanfic EVER
by Aylexan
Summary: Spoof of Hunger Games and My Immortal
1. Chapter 1

**Message from the author**

Hello,

The Hunger Games Fandom will probably hate me for this but after reading My Immortal (the notoriously bad Harry Potter fanfic) I thought to myself, why not have a go at making a parody of the fanfic on a different popular adolescent series? As I have recently written my literature coursework on the Hunger Games I thought that its plot would be fresh enough in my mind. I have also had enough sleep deprivation to able to imitate Tara's style of writing.

Please do not take anything I say seriously. This, to put bluntly, is only a piss-take. A break from the heavy stuff I would normally write and light-hearted enough to carry me through my A2 exams.

Peace out Prepz!

Aylexan


	2. Chapter 2

AN: dis is dedicated 2 ma gurl Sophsta (who i luv in a totez inappropriate way). Nirvana ROX! Rip Kurt Cobain. :'(

My name is Auburn Slayer Dawn and I have short red hair which I wear in a bob - I'm not actually a natural red head. I just dye the shit out of it because gives my low self esteem a massive boost. I can't afford proper hair dye, so I roll around in animal blood and don't shower for weeks. No one notices that I'm a skanky bitch because nobody in our District owns showers. Did I mention I was a werewolf? (Vampires are SO last season!)

I have to shave often because even though I only change during a full moon I'm proper hairy. If I leave it for too long I end up with a monobrow, side burns that could make Elvis jealous (i no hes dead duh im not fik) that eventually become a beard. Today though I shaved so I was nice and smooth.

I know you probably don't give a fuck, but I'm just going to go ahead and tell you what I was wearing in unnecessary detail, like I was talking on a sex line and you were the horny bastard at the other end tossing off. I was wearing a mini mini skirt with fishnets and a purple corset and knee-length boots and a trench coat over the top in case I got cold because lets face it, I wasn't wearing much).

I was on my way to meet Gale in the "Woodz". I had received a text on my android (i cant afford an iPhone - sad timez) from him to tell me to meet up with him for lunch. We're not supposed to go there, but we're such rebels we do whatever the fuck we want. Those Peace Keeper Nazis can't tell us what to do! I assumed he wanted to make out like we usually do, but seriously guys! We're not dating or anything. We just like to fuck around and stuff, kind of like friends with benefits.

When I got there he was casually leaning against a tree looking super hot in a tight grey t-shirt and ripped jeans. I swear I totally had a lady boner.

"What's up sexy?" He asked me in his deep, alluring voice.

"Nuffin much babe." I waltzed up to him and stuck my tongue into his mouth while grabbed a handful of his brown hair. He groaned and pushed himself against me. I felt his hardness.

When I released him from my grip we were both panting. He dug his hand into his pocket and pulled out some drugs. [AN: seriously guys drugs are NOT "kewl".]

"Today is the reaping so the District's drug dealer gave me a discount. Wanna smoke?" I nodded and so we shared a joint.

When we were finally high enough we started talking about the shitty event where two of each District's youth got picked to battle to the death in an even shittier event.

"What would you do if you got picked?" I asked Gale. We were lying on the grass watching the clouds drift above us.

"I'd nuke everyone. Then spend my winnings on sex and drugs and expensive hoes. What about you?"

"I'd finally get that iPhone I always wanted. I hate being so poor!"

In the distance we heard the District's bell toll.

"Shiiiiit," cursed Gale, standing up. "The reaping will start in five minutes. We better get back before they choose us just for being late!"

"What if we don't go," I blurted out. A crazy idea began to form in my head - wow I should get high more often! "What if we just run away and live together in exile?"

"Pfffttttt. To be honest babe, I'd rather take my chances of being entered in a truly barbaric, unjust event than have to put up with your whinging for the rest of my life. Anyway, this is my last year."


	3. Chapter 3

AN: thnx 4 da reviews but im such an outcast i dnt care wat any1 else finks

So me and Gale arrived at the reaping along with a bunch of other kids ranging from 12 to 18. We got split up into different groups based on what age we were and gender. Of course, I was put into the same line as my identical twin sister Daisy. But we're not actually identical identical, if you know what I mean.

First of all, I'm a werewolf and she's just an ordinary girl. Daisy doesn't dye her hair like me so it's still a boring brown, and she's also still a virgin, so she's like super innocent. I guess that's the reason why I'm so protective of her and if anything were to happen to her... I just want the best for her, you know.

Anyway, back to my crappy fanfiction.

So this woman with a weird fashion sense, if I do say so myself, waltz on stage like she freaking own the space. She was wearing a violet velvet dress that looked like it came from the Victorian era (i mean show sum skin bitch, we dnt liv in da olden dayz), wacky make-up and PINK hair (pink iz 4 sissies).

She introduced herself as Effie from the Capitol - who the fuck cares - and went on about "may the odd be in our favour" shit. I swear I almost fell asleep, it was so boring. The only remotely entertaining part was when our District's one winning tribute staggered on stage, stoned out of his mind and pulled down his pants to moon on live national television.

Whilst he was being dragged away, Effie stuck her hand into one of the two balls (hehehe) and pull out a piece of paper. Then she read out the words that would change my life forever...  
"Auburn Slayer Dawn."


End file.
